Mamu

  Kia badla hai there janay s

Kuch bhi badla nahi

Tere chalay janay se

Sirf ye k

Dil hi janay kaise chal rahi hai

Rookhi zindagi dagmagati chaal

Jo sath le k chalti nahi

Rokna chahoon Tau rukti nahi

Dil rota jai zaar zaar

Jo tu nahi ab apnay paas

Chahoon k pakar loon akhri baar

Phir na choroon kabhi tera hath

Yehi Dua hai bus nahi aur koi

Mangti hoon.. poori hoti nahi

Dil hi janay kese chal rahi hai...

Shutting ourselves down after betrayal is so much more painful than the pain we imagine we will receive by opening up!

Devastating..
Sinking in the ever-deepening void
I want to reach for your hand..
Tried shutting my mind
How do I tell you
In how many ways do I miss you
Smudges on your picture
Of  kisses and tears
This heart--- full of despair
Nothing assuages the pain
Distraught thoughts in the head
This life makes no sense
Wish you could talk back ,
In your words I found solace

Seems impossible to get up now

When hope is lost
And life is nothing but dismay

New Life-Old Fears

A lot has changed. My closet friend, person I used to confide in, person who mattered the most, is no more. I was wrong to even think that someone else could take care of me the same way like you did.. I was so wrong. I wanted to move on and so I made a hurried decision. I didn't know of challenges that I'll have to face. Didn't know that I'd still feel alone, even after having someone. I wanted the loneliness to end. I wanted to be loved. My expectations ruined me.
My fears have resurfaced. I live in the same cocoon. It's me again at the giving end. I wanted a love that doesn't probably exist. A soothing, sweet, tender love. What's wrong in being expressive about one's feelings? Why do they make you believe that you're everything they want, and when they get you, you become just another person in their lives? So many times I think I was better off alone. I wasn't the one pushing someone to like me and spend his life with me.. I was going my way, minding my own business.. why did you make me slip for you, shake off my fears and step into a bigger mess?

Goodbye To You

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

You and I,
Together
A figment of my imagination
An image
In the fragments of my heart
I'm a character
non-existent,
Not anywhere in your future
Neither in  your past nor in your the present
I was there all the time,
With a heart full of love
I'm still standing here
Unnoticed or maybe Ignored
Currents pass over 
But my love's such an anchor
It takes me back to you
And we become one
A figment of my imagination.
An echo of my heart

I'm afraid I'm getting tired.. 
Tired of praying..
 Of thinking about what seems impossible.. 
Tired of waiting for you.. 

Of believing one day you'll know

Why don't I hate you

Why I love getting bruised
Maybe that's what you call love..
Inflicting yourself with wounds ..
I'm walking on the shards of my heart..
Winning the losing battle