You're the sweet torture I've chosen for myself.. The slow poison that runs through my veins..
The magic spell that doesn't let me sleep
The recurring nightmare I wish I never cease to see..

Why loving you is so easy for me
Yet having you so difficult
Why hurting me is easy for you
And loving me so difficult?
I'd have been lucky for sure
If I were another girl
Where I've come from
is now a forgotten road
If you're not my destiny,
I wish not to live anymore

23 Sept, 2015
2:09am

From heaven into the hell

Loving you was the only feeling I have ever cherished.
Loving you was the last thing that I felt really good at.
Loving you still hurts really bad.

What do I say..

Seems like I've lost the ability to write.. To translate my feelings. There's nothing but hurt, pain and melancholy that has filled me up. Pours down from my eyes. Can't see anyone who could make me forget all that's etched in my mind. For a moment amid this mess, I sniffed life.. Came to the surface of my untamed sea of emotions, to catch my breath.. Air felt sweet, but just for a moment. Darkness loves me, doesn't leave me. I wish you were my darkness.

Had known you differently,
Searched you in your sugar coated voice..
In your I love yous..
In your frantic good byes..

My search ends..
Had known you differently then..

Found you in the echoes of your acrid words..
In the deepest trench,
In the darkest of shadows..
In my tormented soul.

Recollections

There are places I remember all my life
Though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain

'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.' Lennon

Our juvenilia had taught us both to wait
Not to publish our feelings
And regret it all too late
Mushrooms love already
Had puffed and burst in hate

Deserted

Janay Wo Kaise Log Thay Jin k Pyaar Ko Pyaar Mila
Hum ne tau jab kaliyaan mangein kaanton ka haar mila

Khushion Ki Manzil Dhundi To Gham Ki Gard Mili
Chahat Ke Naghme Chahe To Ahhyein sard Mili

Dil Ke Bojh Ko Dugna Kar Gya Jo Ghumkhaar Mila
Hum Ne To Jab Kaliyaan Mangi Kaanton Ka Haar Mila

Janay wo kaise log thay jinkay pyar ko pyar mila

Bichad Gya.. Bichar gaya

Bichar gaya Har Sathi De Kar Pal Do Pal Ka Saath
Kisse Fursat Hai Jo Thaamay Dewaanon Ka Haath

Hum ko To Apna Saaya Aksaar Bezaar Mila
Hum Ne To Jab Kaliyaan Mangi Kaanton Ka Haar Mila

Janay wo kaise log thay jinkay pyar ko pyar mila

Isko Hi Jeena Kehte Hain To Yun Hi Jee Lenge
Uff Na Karenge Lab Si Lenge Aansu Pi Lenge

Gham Se Ghabrana Kaisa Gham Sau Baar Mila
Hum Ne To Jab Kaliyaan Mangi Kaanton Ka Haar Mila

Janay wo kaise log thay jinkay pyar ko pyar mila